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Michael [ 3/14/09 at 1pm ] [ mood | crushed ] Last night I had another dream about Michael. I've had several... only two nightmares... the rest not really having a bad feeling... but the same recurring theme. Supposedly it the night before it happened, a Thursday night. Michael and I were riding in a car... seems like it was down Highway 90. I knew what was going to happen the next night and it was as if I had gone back in the past to prevent it. I turned to him and said, "You know, I love you Michael." I never said I love you, so it was out of character. He turned to me and said, with a look of sort of disbelief on his face, "I love you too, Ashley." The following conservation went something like this. "Michael, if your depressed you can tell me. Not that you are, but if you were... you could tell me." - I don't know what he said, maybe just shrugged - "I know what you are thinking about. And I know it is going to happen tommorrow night. Please don't do this to us, I love you." - No response - "I don't want to see you die, I can't handle it. You broke mom and dad's heart. They can't live without you. When we told Granny, in the middle of the night, she wouldn't stop screaming. Please Michael, don't do this. We love you." - His face got sort of sad, but I don't think he said anything - "I don't know why you did it. And I don't know if you want to hear this. But Heather says she still loves you and she can't get over you, even after what your gonig to do." - His face got kind of hard, but no response - I don't remember the rest. I woke up, in the my new apartment, and looked around. Michael's bottle of Armani Code cologne was sitting on my nightside table. His favorite John Deere hat on my stereo. His cowboy hat and tonka truck from the beach, on my kitchen cabinets. I realized that no matter how hard I wish I could go back, I can't. He left us here in this nightmare. I miss him more than anything. I want him back so much but I know I can't. Seeing him in my dreams last night made me miss him so much more. I'm so so so so sorry I didn't see you were hurting. I wish you have given me any signs. I can't wait to see you in heaven buddy. Michael Walters 6/25/1988 - 1/30/2009 Loving son, brother, grandchild, "brother-in-law", "Michael buddy" We miss you so much. Life doesn't seem right without you here. 2

Survey [ 7/29/08 at 12am ] 1. What are your first names? Ashley and Alex 2. How long have you been together? Around 2 1/2 years 3. How long did you know each other before you started dating? A few weeks 4. Who asked who out? He asked me 5. How old are each of you? I'm 21, he'll be 23 in September 6. What are your astrological signs? I'm Taurus, he's Virgo 7. How tall are each of you? I'm 5'4", he's 6'0" 8. Who's mother do you see the most? Mine 9. Who’s siblings do you see the most? Mine 10. Do you have any children together? No 11. What about pets? Yep 12. If so, what kind? Mocha, a malchi (maltese/chihauha) 13. Which bill is the hardest on you as a couple? Electricity 14. How do each of you work? I work at Magnolia Mortgage, he works at Verizon 15. Is that what you went to school for? No, just part-time jobs. We're both finance majors. 16. Did you go to the same school? We both go to the same college, different high schools 17. Are you from the same hometown? He's from Mobile, I'll from Grand Bay. Same general area though. 18. Are you from the same hometown now? Yes, Mobile 19. Who is the smartest? Me 20. Who is the most sensitive? Me 17. Where do you eat out at most as a couple? Zorbas 19. Where is the furthest you have traveled as a couple? Texas 21. Who is the most sexual? That'd be TMI 22. Who has the best group of friends? We share friends 23. Who has the craziest exes? Neither 24. Who has the worst temper? Him 0

[ 6/8/08 at 2pm ] I know I haven't updated in forever but I have a few key things that have happened since last time - 1. I'M ENGAGED. Alex proposed on May 29th! He hid "clues" around the yard. The first clue was in my car. It said "Nice picture" which was the first thing Alex ever said to me... on facebook and it said I won a free build a bear. So I went to the computer room and on my laptop another clue was sitting. It said I won a free manicure and to go to our "secret place", which is behind my grandpa's building. My brother rode me out there on our mule (golf cart-type thing). The next clue said go to "Sock's favorite tree". So my brother drove me there and the next clue said "Go to the place where we first kissed, you won dinner at Felix's fish camp". Oh and I forgot to mention at every station there was a single pink rose. We first kissed on my back porch but our first "real" kiss was in the garage/side porch. So Alex was standing in front of the garage w/ the rest of the roses and my dad was out there too. When I came up to him he kneeled down and asked me to marry him! Of course I said yes :D Oh and Michael almost cried! It was sweet and perfect! I love scavenger hunts. Plus my ring is gorgeous! :D It's a 1/2 carat round solitare on a band of diamonds. I love it! Anyway, we're probably getting married late August/early September 2009. 2. I'm in my new apartment! I moved out last Saturday with Alex. It actually looks pretty good so far. Only bad thing is some weird things have been happening and I kind of think its haunted. I hope not though.  I'd update more but I have too much to do! I'm taking four summer classes total... two now and two second term. I have a Options project due Monday, a test Tuesday, and a test Wednesday :( Sooo I better get studying! 1

Neighbors [ 5/17/08 at 2pm ] I don't live in a neighborhood, I live on 20 acres off a dirt road. We're not used to having neighbors... since for most of my life we had none. We do now though. Our most recent neighbor (6 months - year) moved into a trailer behind my dad's workshop. They've been working on adding an extra "room" or "porch" since they've moved in... which is kind of odd considering it's a trailer. ANYWAY, they're puerto rican and barely speak any english at all. My parent's have barely said anything to them because they don't speak much english.  However, today my dad was outside cutting grass on the tractor when two of them walked up. My dad said it was a young pretty girl and an older man. The young girl was holding something up towards him and was smiling as she walked up. They were bringing a gift! The young girl translated for the older man, since he only speaks spanish. She brought us some candy from puerto rico (sesame seed lollipop things, some chocolate/coconut-type stuff, and a sesame bar... I think... I can't read spanish) and a decoration that says puerto rico on it. Isn't that so nice?!  We've never even talked to them before! My dad now regrets thinking badly of them... which he should! My dad said they then went over to the other neighbors (we haven't met them) and the man told them to go away before they even got close. Thats is so mean... Soo we're probably going to bring them some zuchinni relish once my mom gets finished making it. I just made some peach preserves but I don't know if they're going to set or not... it's my first time making them. I'm trying to learn how to can before I move out so I do it for Alex and I :)  0

[ 5/13/08 at 5pm ] [ mood | depressed ]  I move out June 1st. I can't wait to get out of this hellhole. I can't wait to get married and have my own family. A normal one... that's not messed up. I never thought it would get this bad. I never thought my parents were so psycho. I don't understand how two people who hate each other so much could have ever got married. 0

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